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“What is astonishing in the realm of science is the opposite of what is astonishing in the art of the conjurer. For the latter wants to persuade us to see a very simple causality. Where in truth a very complicated causality is at work. Science on the contrary, compels us to abandon belief in simple causalities precisely where everything seems so easy to comprehend and we are fools of appearance. The ‘simplest’ things are very complicated – a fact at which one can never cease to marvel.”

–Friedrich Nietzsche.

13-1 The Robert Anton Willson Website. Submitted by the Odd Emperor

"How to start your day with a positive attitude:
1. Create a "new folder" on your computer.
2. Name it "George W. Bush".
3. Send it to the trash.
4. Empty the trash.
5. Your computer will ask you: "Do you really want to delete "George W. Bush"?
6. Calmly answer, "Yes", and press the mouse button firmly..."

Oh dear readers of the Odd Empire. How is it that I’ve gone so long without reviewing Robert Anton Wilson’s webpage? Who is Robert Anton Wilson? Oh ignorant one! Robert Anton Wilson is one such as you and I will never be! Nominally he’s a Psychologist and author but that’s like saying Mozart was something of a tunesmith. Robert Anton Wilson is the co-author of Illuminatus!, and around 35 other fiction and non-fiction books.

Of Illuminatus!, one reviewer writes;

“Thinking for yourself is just that- maintaining a healthy skepticism, but keeping an open mind at the same time. You can decide what you want (to) believe, but you must also remember that you will never have the complete picture.

Good grief is that correct or what, I’m not even being sarcastic here.

He was once asked “"Do you believe in UFOs?"
"Yes, of course," Wilson answered.
The questioner, who looked quite young, then burst into a long speech, "proving" at least to his own satisfaction that all UFOs "really are" sun-dogs or heat inversions. When he finally ran down Wilson simply replied,
"Well, we both agree that UFOs exist. Our only difference is that you think you know what they are and I'm still puzzled."

This guy is the wet-dream of post modern destructionists everywhere. In fact, most of those guys are trying to be more like Anton Wilson. Failing miserably because Wilson’s better educated and a much better writer. I would urge any reader of the Odd Empire to get a couple of his books, read them carefully and then try to argue with me about your holy facts. You won’t have any more success than before but at least you’ll have read something worthwhile.

Inducted July 3, 2005

13-2 Alien Love Bites, Submitted by the Odd Emperor with thanks to antigray at JREF.

Have you ever been smitten with overwhelming desires? Of the amorous kind, not for like--chocolate or something. Have you ever experienced love at first sight? felt synchronicity with your partner? Ever felt depressed or alone when your partner is away? Ever felt overwhelming emotional turmoil about relationships or even sex?

Well worry not o’ poor love smitten beast! Thankfully it’s not some strange biological wiring in your head that keeps you in love, it’s not even chocolate!

It’s aliens.

Yep! Those pesky aliens are at it again. Not only do they abduct people in the middle of the night to perform strange and filthy experiments on their bodily orifices. Not only are they using humanity as a bizarre food supply, not only are they here to save us from being ravaged by the Hershey chocolate company. Aliens are here to set up relationships! Those feelings of love, passion etc?

Aliens

Yep! It’s aliens.

It's aliens all the way down!

Well, the person who wrote Alien Love Bites also thinks people on drugs see aliens more often than people not on drugs..

I can't ague with that!

Inducted July 8, 2005

13-3 Aliens and the Scalpel, submited by the Odd Emperor with thanks to antigray at JREF

This is the webpage of one Dr. Roger Leir a “researcher” primarily involved with so-called alien implants. Actually he’s a podiatrist who seems to have gotten hit by the UFO-biz truck thinking that chasing aliens is more profitable than foot doctoring.

It would seem that many people when examined closely will show evidence of foreign substances in their bodies. Not chemicals (although one can’t discount the possibility) but little pieces of metal, bits of plastic and other strange stuff.

Now we all know that (at least Dr. Leir believes) that only aliens traveling millions of miles in spacecraft could possibly introduce foreign pieces of dirt in a human body. No other physical process could account for it. People never pick up abrasions on say their arms or legs get chunks of gravel under the skin only to find them years later. People never get pieces of say, barbed wire, pencil lead or a thousand other things stuck under their skin. It’s inconceivable to think that there is any natural explination.

Aliens, it HAS to be aliens.

Inducted July 6, 2005

13-4 Apostolate of a Silent Soul, Inc. Little Audrey Santo Submitted by the Odd Emperor with thanks to Penn and Teller.

This one just makes me sick.

Imagine, a three year old somehow gets into the family swimming pool and almost drowns. She’s rushed to the hospital unconscious. The doctors do what they can but the little girl is left in a persistent vegetative state, little or no higher brain functions, the personality, the soul is gone.

So what does a grieving family do? Put her in an institution? Get on with their lives? No way! Keep her at home like some grisly trophy and make her into a religious icon! You know, like the finger bone of saint Sebastian, put up in a nice shiny box for all to see.

What really makes me sick is, this is not a bright fever dream of the Odd Emperor. It actually happened in Massachusetts. At the Apostolate of a Silent Soul, Inc.

According to the site, everything about “Little Audrey” is a miracle, from the magical olive oil that oozes from pictures of Jesus and Mary to miraculous way that Audrey fell into the family pool. Call the Odd Emperor skeptical (please!) but don’t lay on that kind of nonsense. At best this is someone with the intellect of a three year old trapped in a useless, moldering body. People are freaking worshiping her!

Does that not make you sick?

It doesn't?

In that case the Odd Emperor thinks YOU’R a little sick!

Inducted July 10, 2005

13-5 Common Sense Central, Submitted by the Odd Emperor with a nod to Robert Williams.

Mars Cydonia Moon Space Alien NASA ESA JPL USGS GOV ET UFO Education Poetry

It’s important, when one is making a list to put the most important items first and the least important, last. In the above list, it’s telling that Mars is the first item and Education is next to the last. Which is strange because the writer of the list is an educator—or was. Seems he was sacked from Clinton Community College for teaching "intro to web design" students the hideous truth about the NASA and the US Government cover-up of mile long alien structures on the planet Mars.

I don’t understand why. If a college professor wants his students to, you know; learn about stuff that’s completely off subject, why would a college administration object? If a history instructor wanted to teach math, or an anthropologist wanted to teach about Chupacaberas and UFOs, if the football coach wanted to teach his team flower arrangement, where’s the harm in that?

Anyway, this page is a who lot of bitter spewing about Mars, NASA cover-ups, how the US government sits on secret anti-gravity technology and why he go the sack.

The usual stuff.

Inducted July 20, 2005

13-6 RYT Hospital, submited by the Odd Emperor with thanks to DonOne at JREF

RYT Hospital, the Dwayne Medical Center.

This is a very nice looking page, identical to a really good flash-fortified medical institution’s website. But this is no ordinary medical institution. No, RYT Hospital makes some very interesting claims indeed.

• The first male pregnancy
• Nanobots
• The first sentient, computer-using mouse (he hates cats.)

And several other things. I must say I’m impressed! I chatted with the mouse for a while, (he hates cats BTW.) Cloned myself using their nifty bio Geonochice scanner..

(this is what my Geonochice (tm) genetic profile looks like.)

98% Homosexuality
85% Novelty-seeking
28% Schizophrenia
25% Manic Depression
13% Anti-Social Behavior
10% Addiction Susceptibility
5% Stamina Impairment
3% Glottal Stop

ONLY 13% ANTI-SOCIAL BEHAVIOR!!!!

….that can’t be right!

Inducted July 20, 2005

13-7 STOP ALIEN ABDUCTIONS, submitted by the Odd Emperor

This is the quintessential tinfoil beanie page. The Odd Emperor does not lie! Stop Alien Abductions is a web page devoted to instructing (you) the reader and potential abductee how to make your own Velostat anti telepathic alien cap so that can be safe from telepathic alien abductors.

All you have to do is,

1) get a leather hat, (a dorky one works best.)
2) cut a template from an old newspaper of the inside lining.
3) use template to cut 8 sheets of Velostat brand electrical insulation
4) Tape Velostat brand insulation inside the hat.
5) put on anti- alien hat.
6) IMPORTANT! Never tell anyone that you have an anti-alien beanie on your melon. Tell them that you are the subject of a expensive and elaborate set of medical experiments which have caused bloodshot eyes to sprout above the hairline. When people ask to see the eyes, just smile knowingly.

Wearers have reported great success in the tinfoil beanie (thought screen helmet.) Some users have reported aliens fruitlessly trying to figure out how to work around it so they can beam strange thoughts into a victims brains. They should stick with faster than light travel and antigravity technology. We are years ahead of them on Madison Avenue!

Inducted July 27, 2005

13-8 Intruders Foundation, submitted by the Odd Emperor

I was a little confused at the name, intruders foundation?

A foundations for intruders? By intruders?

Well no; this is actually Mr. Budd Hopkins’s Intruders foundation. Hopkins is the fellow who literally wrote the book on alien abduction. His best seller Intruders is thought to be cannon in UFOlogy circles, some of them anyway. Bud’s not really a scientist, psychologist or any of that other unneeded stuff. He’s a graphic artist, who believes in aliens, has a lively interest and wrote some engaging books. Really that’s about all the accreditation you need in the UFO biz.

Otherwise, this page is not too remarkable. Hopkins rants about Carl Sagan and Jennings’s UFO special in 2005. He’s selling some café press type stuff and a few books.

Inducted July 27, 2005

13-9 Alien Abduction Experience and Research (AAER), submitted by the Odd Emperor.

Welcome to the world's largest research center and support group into UFO's and the Alien Abduction Experience

…or the personal computer in Donald Worley’s living room. Donald’s a UFO abduction enthusiast, there is do doubt about that. But he claims to be a UFO Abduction EXPERT for over 30 years now. I’m not sure what it takes to be a UFO expert. Writing lots of stuff about UFOs is a good way to start.

"Are you actually gullible enough to believe that what you see and are told is the real truth? As a researcher for 31 years in matters pertaining to the present phantom-like alien infestation of our world, I declare that government's endless cover-up of our deplorable situation is an unmitigated disaster. "

Well as Odd Emperor I declare that last paragraph and several thousand like it an unmitigated disaster. In fact the entire site is kind of like looking at a train-wreck. A pretty funny one though. Not that the author intends to be humorous—I’m sure he’s sincere. All of “his” abductees are probably sincere too. Good thing that Donald Worley is there to comfort them. (Remember; he’s a UFO abduction expert!)

Just, don’t ask him about the coming pole shift, how white hot magma (I love the sound of that! White-hot- maagmaa!) will fry everyone to a crisp. Giant waves will drown those who didn’t burn to a crisp and high winds will blow shit around.

Why not ask him? Cuz he will tell you!

Inducted July 27, 2005

13-10 The Library of Halexandriah Submitted by the Odd Emperor with thanks to teamronnie2005.

"alexandria is a Synthesis of new physics, sacred geometry, ancient and modern history, multiple universes & realities, consciousness, the Ha Qabala and ORME, extraterrestrials, corporate rule and politics, law, order and entropy, trial by jury, astronomy, monetary policy, scientific anomalies, and a whole host of other subjects ranging from astrology and astrophysics to superstrings and sonoluminesence to biblical and geologic histories to numerology, the Tarot, and creating your own reality. It is an attempt at bridging of the Age of Pisces () and the Age of Aquarius ()."

It’s an attempt at making my cranium ache, a pretty successful one too!

Haleandria (or alixandria, depending on which spelling they happen to be using) appears to be by a bunch of frustrated people who would really like to cargo-cult their own reality. They seem frustrated with their work-a-day jobs and want something better.

The Odd Emperor can dig that.

But is creating a web page full of strange writings really the way to change things?

Inducted August 6, 2005

13-11 Aliens the Truth Submitted by the Odd Emperor

One would think that on a web page called Aliens the Truth that, the truth would be, you know prominent, easy to find. Like right up at the top or something. I looked, I didn’t find the truth, I looked all over the front page of Alien Truth, I found

“UFOs exist, the proof is undeniable. Thousands of people make reports yearly of strange lights performing impossible maneuvers that traditional earth-bound aircraft, commercial, military, etc; could never accomplish. While most of the world's governments try to deny the reality of their existence, they blame the sightings on natural aerial phenomenon, the planet Venus, swamp gas, weather balloons or mass hysteria.”

”Whether you buy into the culturally biased, mass-media induced viewpoints, or if you choose to think on your own; there is one ultimate truth that the world is afraid to accept...the reality that we are not alone in the universe, the proof is here, the proof is real, accept the truth...Aliens the Truth.”

Maybe I don’t buy into either viewpoint. You can’t prove something just by proclaiming it over and over again; you must provide some kind of evidence. And besides, I don’t know any government denying the existence of UFOs, most just refuse to go off the deep end about them until they manage to capture one of the dad-gum things.

I was still looking around the site for “the truth.” About aliens or most anything else.
I found….

• An alien abduction survey, which I took! (check my web log for an answer if I even get one.)
• Lots of visitor submitted UFO sightings
• Some news articles gleaned from all over the Internet
• Some paranormal junk (go figure?) Real science news (on the least important lower right hand side.)
• A message board.
• Photos of the web minister, his girlfriend, his and his tattoos.
• Lots of recommended books (he has Sitchin's The 12th Planet as his number one pick.)
• Photos of his trip to area 51 (including his photo a base sign reading “photography is prohibited.”)

Truth? Where’s the truth? Helloo truth! Come out come out where ever you are!

Inducted August 27, 2005

13-12Athene Enterprises:Clairvoyant, Psychic, New Age Teacher, Spiritual Advisor and Lecturer Submitted by the Odd Emperor with thanks to 777 Aquarius at debunking_ufo_debunkers

Athene Raefiel is a verrry special person, A visionary, a telepath, a psychic, spiritual teacher, empath, writer, hypnotist, gifted clairvoyant, spirit medium, channeler, lecturer, astrologer, numerologist, and (finally!) reader of taro,

Wow! She seems to have that New Age stuff covered.
But wait! She’s also had personal visits from Archangels, Michael, Raphael, Gabriel, Uriel. And Red Cloud. (Oops, He’s not an Archangel—my bad.)

Seems kinda, unbelievable. I just wish she could get her web page working right. Anyone using a Mozalla based browser like say, 1/3 of her traffic will find all the text on her page underlined and most of the java links won’t work. Looks OK in IE though.

Inducted August 29, 2005

13-13 Kitty Klaw, submitted by the Odd Emperor with thanks to the Red Queen.

Kitte Klaw! She’s a performer, a pinup and a paranormal investigator! Move over Dana Skully! Kitte Klaw’s in da house!

"…As a child my personal interests were always rather unusual including herpetology- interests such as snake breeding, a fascination with the moon, Germans, the paranormal, the occult, religion and ancient religious practices – especially Ancient Egyptian rites."

OKaa! She likes Germans! She was also a Baptist for a, very very short time. Giving up the church for more naturalistic pursuits, if ya.. get my drift. These days she’s performing “Kitsch ‘n’ Kink” - the UK’s premier cheesecake double act; And she founded the Ministry of Burlesque.

Wonder what they have meetings about?

Oh well, you can look at Kitte’s gallery’s (not safe for work.) Gander at some very original writings on the paranormal. Gaze at her blog (not safe for work.) Gaze at…Kitty!

Inducted September 21, 2005

13-14 Adelaide Institute, submitted by the Odd Emperor with a nod to the JREF forum.

This kind of stuff really pisses the Odd Emperor off, forgive the strong language but,
This is the Adelaide Institute web page. What’s the Adelaide Institute? Well, they are revisionist “historians,” specifically, Jewish holocaust revisionist “historians.” In other words, they think the holocaust didn't really happen.

On their preamble page they ask..
"Is asking questions a crime? If you develop doubts about the Holocaust, isn’t the only way to get rid of these doubts by asking questions? "

No dumbass, asking question is not a crime. If you have doubts about the freaking holocaust, DO THE FREAKING RESEARCH! There is something in history studies called “a preponderance of evidence.” This means (morons) that to decide a historical event did or did not take place, we look at the historic record, consisting of documents, physical evidence, primary and secondary source testimony. We don’t make up a pack of balderdash because your precious National Socialist regime of Germany in the 1930s was accused of barbequing several million men women and children because of their religious beliefs. Historians don’t do that! But you are not real historians are you?

They killed a lot of people, face up to it buster! So did the Soviets, the Italians and the Japanese. The Catholics, The US Americans, the Rwandans and the Slavs. People have been doing this kind of crap since time immemorial and you know what? It’s because revisionist jerks like you who wrote the Adelaide Institute web page try to FORGET history.

We conveniently turn our back on it. La-la-la! Plug our ears until the next time it happens.

And so it goes, over and over again.

Jerks!

Inducted September 26, 2005

13-15 UFO Planet, Submitted by the Odd Emperor with thanks to Mr. Paul Kimball

What can I say about UFO Planet.net?

It’s black. VERY black.

That aside, its’ a pretty well constructed page. UFO Planet has some pretty up to date news, gleaned from all over the place. There is a pretty well attended forum, a chat room where people actually show up from time to time. It’s all done in PHP but evidently put together by someone who knows his stuff.

The web minister “Martin” does a fairly good job of simply presenting data, not making conclusions or couching wild opinions as facts. This runs counter to many UFO related web pages out there—a very welcome and novel approach!

And; he doesn’t go crazy with animated junk. That’s got to count for something!

Inducted October 8, 2005

13-16 2012 Unlimited, Submitted by Mr. PH.

The premise of this page is simple. The Mayans, a new-world civilization that among other things thought ripping the still beating heart out of someone was a pretty neat thing to do on a hot--summer afternoon made some predictions.

The Mayans had a very accurate calendar which runs out in 2012. This fact has been exploited by end of the world enthusiasts for quite a while now. This page has got the real skinny on how the Earth is going into a new era, or a bunch of uncoordinated ravings depending if you’re an unbeliever or not.

Inducted October 8, 2005

13-17 Project Blue Book Archive, submitted by the Odd Emperor

The Project Blue Book Archive? What can I say about the Project Blue Book Archive?

.....It is!

Inducted October 11, 2005

13-18 Extraterrestrial Contact Act Submitted by the Odd Emperor

Coming to a legislature near you, maybe. The Extraterrestrial Contact act. I’m kind of astounded that someone would actually sit down and write this. I’d be unsurprised if congress passed something like this but that’s congress for you.

The sponsors of the bill are three metaphysical types, Executive Director Darryl Anka who has conducted metaphysical and consciousness-raising seminars and lectures, Director April Rierdan has worked in the field of metaphysics and extraterrestrial research for the past 10 years. And Kevin Kachikian, a computer technician who’s has been involved with Extraterrestrial contact projects and other metaphysical areas for over 8 years.

Other than a plea for donations and volunteers (to help distribute our official information to all nations on Earth.) A Yahoo newsgroup the page doesn’t really have much going for it. I mean the sentiment’s OK but, don’t you need some, you know… aliens or something before congress takes you seriously?

Um, on second thought….

Inducted October 11, 2005

13-19 Star Knowledge Submitted by the Odd Emeperor

I look at some web pages with a feeling of delight, this one just depresses me Star Knowledge is about native American religions, a subject that I have some small interest in.

It’s also about aliens, a subject I’m very interested in.

Why is this a problem? Well, I like coffee, I also like the taste of salt. I do not like salty coffee. What does this have to do with Native American religion and aliens? The combination of the two disturbs me. They disturb in the same way that cows in the Vatican would disturb me or the idea of charity from Scientology. The two just,… don’t belong together

Inducted October 11, 2005

13-20 Invitation to ETI, Submitted by the Odd Emperor.

"Welcome to Invitation to ETI, a Web-based, scientifically credible SETI (Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence) experiment. In these pages, you will find an invitation, issued by an informal group of approximately 100 scientists, artists and futurists from around Planet Earth, to any Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence (ETI) having the capability to read it. This invitation is issued in hopes of establishing a constructive dialog between humanity and our cosmic companions."

On the surface this page looks kind of naive and silly. Especially the “message to ETI” which says in part…

“To summarize, our welcome is extended to any manifestation of extraterrestrial intelligence or alien intelligence that has reached our planet. Regardless of your form, regardless of where in the universe you originated, regardless of when you arrived, regardless of how deeply different you are from us, we welcome you.”

My inside voice was saying, “Oh sure! Regardless that you think Chernobyl is a good place to send kids, regardless that you think interaction with humans is about on par with a human’s interaction with an orange.

Comon! Peel me baby!”

But some of the other writings, especially the papers from founder Allen Tough are not bad, not bad at all. Sober, scientific with little of the self indulgent conclusions and proclamations that abound from more wooish authors.

A refreshing change!

Inducted October 16, 2005