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Finding a source of “unlimited free energy” would be the most unimaginably heinous possible against humanity. For it would inevitably turn the planet into a cinder. Hastening an isoentropic heat death. If you find a free energy source, you damn well better find a new free energy sink as well. Even then, the relative flux rates will still nail you.
- Don Lancaster

10.1 NASA, Numerous Anomalies And Scams Allowed Submitted by the Odd Emperor

Here is another NASA faked the Moon landing page. This one has some really, err imaginative arguments.
The author begins;
“Although it is common knowledge throughout the world that the Apollo Moon missions were faked by NASA back in the 60's, many gullible people still accept NASA's claim of landing men on the Moon, without bothering to carry out any research, or investigation, to see if NASA are indeed telling the truth.”

Common knowledge? Really?

He claims that actually watching the liftoffs or viewing the mountains of evidence is just stupid people being gullible.

Some of his better arguments; “NASA would never have used the metric system as it’s basis for measurement because the US was using the English system.” (I can’t even comment on that statement, it’s so absurd.)

Only damp soil could possibly leave footprints.
On the Apollo 17 mission the same set of mountains can be seen in the background, this must be fake because as we all know (those of us who have never seen mountains) distant large objects will look totally different if you move the vantage point a mile or so.
It’s easy to fake moon pictures using Photoshop, (a program that did not exist in the 1970s but don’t let that little fact distract us.)

Actually, lets not let ANY facts distract us other than the ones we make up in our heads, its easier that way.

Inducted June 30, 2004

10.2 Building a Working Light saber, Submitted by Gilmore

Ohh baby! Remember that dorcus who took a film of himself wielding a fake light saber and got plastered all over the Internet? Now you too can become an even bigger dork! You can have YOUR VERY OWN CHI SABER!!

Chi! Not the stuff you flavor milk with but a powerful essence that flows through your body giving you life, but now you can use a Chi Saber ™ to spray your life essence all over your neighborhood. Using a Chi Saber is easy, you buy it for only $250.00 US dollars (very important.) You meditate over it for a while and find something to blast with your keen laser-like DEATH RAY!

The author of this page writes;

Quartz crystals have been for a quite a while been shown to amplify and store a person's mind-intent (thoughts). Due to this fact, although many people do not use them to their full potential, they do make very good meditational tools. In the case of the Chi Sabre, a Thought-Form (mentaly visualized and projected picture) shaped like a lightsabre blade is generated in the mind and projected into the crystal. This only has to be done once by the creator of the device. After the crytal has been mentaly programmed (through the projection of the thought-form into the crystal), any time that you transmit Chi (or electromagnetic radiation) towards the crystal, a thought form, of the blade will be projected from that crystal.

What's actually been around for quite a while are morons who will buy usless tubes of Quartz, and people who sell them.

Inducted July 15, 2004

10.3 Aspartame Dangers Revealed! Submitted by the Odd Emperor

I’m not too sure about this one but I thought I would toss it in here anyway. This is a page about one Dr. Janet Starr Hull and her crusade against Aspartame. That’s the artificial sweetener known as “Nutrasweet,” found in many soft drinks and other foods.

There can be no argument that some chemical compounds can have an unfortunate effect on a person, table salt can be very toxic, and water is one of the most toxic chemical compounds known to Humanity. Thousands die every year from involuntary poisoning by water (sometimes this is called drowning.)

Aspartame though, is in a class by itself according to Dr. Janet Starr Hull. Over ninety (that’s the number right after eighty nine) illnesses can be attributed to Aspartame. Just a few are..

• decreased tears
• trouble with contact lenses
• bulging eyes marked thinning or loss of hair
• frequency of voiding and burning during urination
• marked weight loss
• gradual weight gain
• irreversible brain damage
• birth defects, including mental retardation
• And of course--Death

As a matter of fact She writes, “In 1992, four deaths were associated with aspartame.”

Four? As in the number coming after the number three? Hell the street I live on is more toxic then that!

Crap! You had the Odd Emperor going there for a moment!

Inducted July 16, 2004

10.4 The Majestic Documents. Submitted by the Odd Emperor

A very nice looking site, the splash page describes hard working individuals who want YOU to have the real secret information the evil government has been keeping secret all these many years. They have some heavy hitters (in the UFO field that is) on the board. Some of the information on their mission statement is.

• Aggressively collect data and draw conclusions. (??!That's scientific...HOW?)
• Create an environment conducive to public disclosure of information withheld by all inside sources.
• Educate and present findings and conclusions to the public.
• Establish a dialogue with the broader community including religions, governments, and political parties.
• Improve the information exchange and effectiveness of Ufology and increase participation in the subject.

Very laudable, I’m sure the web authors are sincere in their efforts to get you the true secrets and not those false ones that you can get at “Brand X’s” web pages. They have a wide range of “product,” mostly documents gleaned from the Freedom of Information act and other places. It’s a pretty cool page if you want to peruse some strange stuff from US military history. Whether or not the documents themselves are real is another matter. The Odd Emperor is no military document expert (although he worked with military stuff for many years.) Much of the material on the Majestic page doesn’t seem quite right, a little too pat for lack of a better word.

But interesting.

Inducted July 21, 2004

10.5 The Rumor Mills News Agency Submitted by the Odd Emperor

First off, the word "rumor" and the word "news" are at pretty much opposite ends of the spectrum. Second, the kind of "news" that this "news service covers? Can you believe right wing religious paranoid? It's amusing stuff alright. Any yahoo trotting out a self published tome on how we reached Mars in the 1970s or the ever present threat of chemtrail spraying. If you want a good scare or a good chuckle, this is the page for you.

Inducted August 6, 2004

10.6 OdiseaLink Submitted by the Odd Emperor with a nod to UFO-Watchdog

A few years ago, the adventures of someone named Dr. Jonathan Reed started making rounds on the silly circuit. He supposedly encountered an alien spacecraft in the Pacific Northwest of the United States (with his dog Suzy.) The space craft; looking nothing more than a geometric primitive rendered in Bryce was accompanied by a foam rubber puppet, er ALIEN. Mr. Reed took this home and put it on ice until it vanished under mysterious circumstances (I love that, I want to say it again."mysterious circumstances!") He also retrieved a nice looking alien bracelet--if you're into crap that looks like a prop from Mighty Morphen Power Rangers. None of these things are available for examination but you can pay Dr. Reed to come and speak at your UFO convention. You can also buy his books and video tapes.

We must all nod our heads and feel thankfull for that.

Inducted August 6, 2004

10.7 Night Travels of the Elven Vampire. Submitted by the Odd Emperor with thanks to the Empress et-al

...It was a dark and stormy night...

This is a free web page of one LaVern Ross of Colorado. She's an aspiring writer who has produced, um... this novel or something like that.

Or at least she did once. Seems a bunch of other people said more or less the same thing I did about this book.

Now, the Odd Emperor doesn't want to be too harsh on Ms. Ross. She got taken by Publish America, a vanity press masquerading as a publishing house. (So sorry, they do pay an author a single dollar in advance, their books are something like seventeen dollars each for a cheap paperback. They also have a non return policy making it unlikely that Barns and Noble will touch them. Any reasonable person might call Publish America a vanity press. The Odd Emperor (not being a reasonable person) calls this a freaking rip off.)

It's not just her novel is horrible (it is). It's not just that she insists on putting ten thousand word excerpts on her web page (thereby making it that much more unlikely to ever get the novel published.) It's not just that she writes excruciating Mary-Sues, cribbing unmercifully from Ann Rice, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and a good bit of The Princess Bride. It's not just that her grammar and prose are difficult to follow. For example;

"Glowing red eyes looked at her, she turned her eyes away from the sight of the glowing orbs. Each one stood at least seven feet in height, weighing around six hundred pounds, easily. They were covered in thick mangy fur, pointed ears, snout and large sharp canine teeth. They stood there on legs the size of tree trunks, with hooves instead of feet. They looked as though they had each had eaten several people already. As the one who had been moving towards her came closer, she spotted the white glowing figures appear. Watched in horror as the dark engulfed the white. She could smell the bitter putrid smell of brimstone that suddenly hung heavy on the air. Elisa knew there was a time to stand and a time to run and turning she did just that. But she would be back another day. She didn't look back as she ran. She really didn't want to know if anything was chasing her."

This was probably one of the the best, clearest written bits in the entire piece. The thought of those giant glowing hairy eyeballs just cracks me up.

It gets much worse! I mean come on! The hero is a A werewolf (sorry, A VAMPIRE that can change into wolf form, ) He/it smells like strawberries, but, he's actually an elf who's really an alien. I'd say someone's got an identity problem.

No; it's not all that, what's really unforgivable? SHE SOCK-PUPPETS HER OWN REVIEWS! .. Well; she did. Looks like LaVern has taken down all of her self congratulatory reviews, a big kudos for that! She's also withdrawn the book and is looking for an editor.

Can we say WO-HOO?

Inducted August 6, 2004

Updated September 28, 2005

10.8 The Forbidden Knowledge Submitted by the Odd Emperor

In the mission statement of the page is written;

It is true that those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. But in the case of earth, history books have been tainted and people have been misled. Therefore, it is absolutely vital that you read books and extrapolate knowledge testing the validity of the orthodox version against Logic, Common Sense and Circumstantial Evidence.

I’m a little unclear what the author is getting at, one must study history but conventional history books are full of crap so read my web page instead? Natch dude!

Actually the predominant message in this page is, it’s all the Illuminati’s fault! There seems to be little else of value here. Lots of links to ravings all over the Internet that support the basic idea. A few self published essays saying? You guessed it! The Masons are responsible for everything bad in the world, other than this web page (the only font of truth) the world is a convoluted Illuminati playground.

Whew! Since that’s been cleared up I can take the afternoon off and see what’s on FOX.

Inducted August 20, 2004

10.9 The Cutting Edge Submitted by the Odd Emperor

Your typical Bible thumping "we are in the end times" page. Cutting edge ministries's thrust is for the "lukewarm Christian." You know; people with a family, a work-a-day job. A ham-and-egger. Not rich or well educated but he (or she) can afford to tithe, go to church and enjoy a nice football game on the TV from time to time.

WELL! Cutting edge ministries doesn't want you to be a lukewarm Christian anymore. They want you fully charged with the commanding word of GOD! They want to pour their seed into the hearts of you wimpy na-Christions and transform you MIGHTY WARRIORS OF THE FAITH! Standing tall and proud against evill, you will await the coming of the ANTICHRIST. A witness to the RAPTURE and the great TRIBULATION which is coming real soon!

So ditch that stupid un-Godly job, buy some guns and pass the ammunition baby!

Inducted August 24, 2004

10.10 Voyage to Our Hollow Earth Submitted by the Odd Emperor

Ho Boy! Here’s the opportunity of a LIFETIME! A real cruse to our hollow Earth! Think about it, basking in the rays of the subterranean sun. Watching dinosaurs and loinclothed maidens cavort on pristine white sand beaches. Just what you always dreamed about?

Well; Steve Curry wants to make this a reality! For only 18, 000 US Dollars you can be one of 100 lucky people to visit the lost continent. Hurry and mortgage your manufactured home today!

On the off chance that this is all a load of bullcrap Steve writes;

*Please note that if we are unable to find the Polar opening, we will be returning via the New Siberian Islands to visit skeleton remains of exotic animals thought to originate from Inner Earth.llcrap, Steve Curry writes;

Oh come on Steve; who's going to believe that!

Inducted September 5, 2004

10.11 ! Wake-up World Wake-up ! Submitted by the Odd Emperor

Here’s a page that goes off the spew scale on the Odd Empire. I did a thumbnail word count of articles and got around 2,352,000. That’s two million, three hundred and fifty-three thousand words.

What the hell are they trying to say with two million words? Basically the Illuminati and the Masons are to blame for everything. Well, maybe the aliens helped them a little. The page was compiled by one William Webber Woods who, outside of arranging the article titles into little hourglass shapes didn't’t really write much of the content. Most of the articles have something of a byline though, kudos for that at least.

Submited September 7, 2004

10.12 Anthropology & UFOs: Submitted by the Odd Emperor

This page has some interesting stuff. Tie-ins between anthropology and the so-called field of study known as UFOlogy. Some very good historical surveys, sources sited and a concentration on the facts vs. opinion makes this a refreshing change from most other pages devoted to the subject.

Inducted September 9, 2004

10.13 VICALE CORPORATION Submitted by the Odd Emperor

Home of the Talking Jesus Action Figure! I mean; what more does the Odd Emperor have to say! It’s the TALKING JESUS ACTION FIGURE!

But there is much more. Vicale has all kinds of action figures, George W Bush, Tony Blare, Hillary Clinton, Vladimir Puten and even “Gay American.” Most of them talk too.

So; throw away that stupid Barbie collection girly-man and get ready to have some real fun!

Inducted September 16, 2004

10.14 JN Labs, The Quest for Overunity Submitted by the Odd Emperor

"dedicated to the search of Free-Energy solutions and new generation of space-propulsion systems.”

OK, so why are you messing around with “lifter” technology. Lifters have nothing to do with free energy and might not be practical as propulsion systems.

SO what does the Odd Emperor know about lifters you might ask? A little; I actually built one. Lifters work, they don’t work very well though. The big problem is that they don’t come close to carrying their own weight.

(I can hear them now.) “WTF? LOOK AT THE VIDIOS!!!”

Yes, the videos show little balsa/tinfoil toys. If you look real close you can always see a wire coming out of them. That wire leads to a high voltage power source (I took mine from a TV set.) This in turn is plugged into 120v house current. There is no known way for a lifter to carry both the power source and the power supply. Even if you could, you'd ionize the air so much you’d create your own lightning. Think of those electrical ships from the 1999 movie The Matrix and you get the idea.

Sorry guys, find a way to power a car with something you can stick in your pocket, then we can talk.

Inducted September 18, 2004

10.16 Ancient Moons Submitted by the Odd Emperor

Why is it, some people in the UFO/Fortiean field just don’t get how extraordinary the planet Mars is. I mean, here’s a place with about 1/3 less gravity, a very thin atmosphere, supersonic winds that create dust storms covering the planet. There was probably liquid water once, perhaps even now in some places.

But, if you talk to the folks who built the Ancient Moons page you’d think Mars was just some big play-pen where godlike beings created huge monuments just to confound us poor Earthlings. They can look at durn near any photo coming out of Malin image site and proclaim (according to their YEARS of training in Martian geology) that the landforms are artificial constructs.

Dudes! You can’t even see human artifacts from Earth orbit very often. How in the fug can you even pretend to know what the hell you’re looking at on Mars?

First you make up your mind that the artifacts are there. Then you take images out of context and compare them with known structures on Earth (you know, the ones you CAN'T see from orbit.)

Simple right?

Inducted September 27, 2004