Empire of the Odd

Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, USA
The next best thing to pet salvation in a Post Rapture World

Oh my lord! Look I disbelieve in the rapture like most Marcabs do! We think the universe is going to end in what we call the Grand Black-hole Bollocks. But this absolute genius!

You’ve committed your life to Jesus. You know you’re saved. But when the Rapture comes what’s to become of your loving pets who are left behind?   Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each
Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you’ve received your reward.  Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

We are currently active in 22 states.  Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to  rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet’s natural life.

We currently cover the following states:
Maine,New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Michigan, Arkansas, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, Colorado, Oklahoma, Kansas, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, North Carolina, and Georgia.

Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.
For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved.  Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.

Unfortunately at this time we are not equipped to accommodate all species and must  limit our services to dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, and small caged mammals.[Please note:  we can now offer rescue services for horses, camels, llamas and donkeys in NH,VT, ID and MT ]

Thank you for your interest in Eternal Earth-Bound Pets. We hope we can help provide you with peace of mind.

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Thursday, April 8, 2010 16:09 GMT

CLEVELAND (Wireless Flash – FlashNews) – A Cleveland-based UFO cult claims Doomsday is finally coming after years of false alarms.

The Church of the Subgenius is a satirical “church” supposedly founded by a man named J.R. “Bob” Dobbs in 1953.

Today, Rev. Ivan Stang runs the parody cult, which has thousands of members who pay $30 to get in and receive “important-looking documents filled with made-up words.”

On July 5, Subgenius will host “X-Day” in New York, a bizarre ceremony to celebrate the end of the world.

Each year, they predict that Armageddon will come on July 5 and members will be saved by flying saucers carrying “alien sex goddesses.”

These aliens will pleasure members for eternity, or Stang says they get triple their Church dues back.

He calls the party one last hurrah among “nerdy boys” and “weirdos,” though he’d be surprised if UFOs actually came.

They’ve been waiting for the aliens for 15 years straight, disappointing those who “truly believe” time after time.

© Copyright 2010 Wireless Flash News Inc

http://www.flashnews.com/news/wfn3100408J15757.html

You didn’t hear this from me, but some long-retired CIA contract workers have been cleared for takeoff to talk about their experiences at Area 51.

As you’d expect, they’re sticking to the old dodge that goes something like, “We saw a lot of incredible military technology, but no alien spacecraft or LGM.” (Little Green Men.) Eric Lacitis of the Seattle Times is the latest reporter to break the story that not only could burst the bubble of millions of star-gazers and self-styled UFOlogists, but also theoretically threatens the economy of Rachel, the positively otherworldly roadside attraction located in Sand Spring Valley 115 miles northwest of Las Vegas on Highway 375, also known as the “Extraterrestrial Highway.”

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By JAMAL HALABY (AP) – 17 hours ago

AMMAN, Jordan — A Jordanian newspaper’s April Fool’s Day report chronicling a late-night visit by 10-foot-tall aliens in flying saucers sparked public panic and almost led to the town’s emergency evacuation, officials said Monday.

The Al Ghad newspaper published a front-page article April 1 about the fake UFO landing near the desert town of Jafr, some 185 miles (300 kilometers) from the capital, Amman. The report said the UFOs lit up the whole town, interrupted communications and sent fearful residents streaming into the streets.

Jafr’s mayor, Mohammed Mleihan, got caught up in the paper’s prank and said he sent security authorities in search of the aliens.

“Students didn’t go to school, their parents were frightened and I almost evacuated the town’s 13,000 residents,” Mleihan told The Associated Press. “People were scared that aliens would attack them.”

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Scientists try to explain near-death experiences.

There are those who believe that science will eventually explain everything—including our enduring belief in heaven. The thesis here is very simple: heaven is not a real place, or even a process or a supernatural event. It’s something that happens in your brain as you die.

I first encountered this idea as I was researching my new book, Heaven: Our Enduring Fascination With the Afterlife. I was having lunch with my friend and colleague Christopher Dickey, who told me that his father, the writer James Dickey, had a fantasy of heaven in which all of his closest friends were sitting around a swimming pool, chatting. “There was nothing special about the pool itself,” wrote Chris in Summer of Deliverance: A Memoir of Father and Son. “Nobody walked on the water. And he never told me who the friends were … But what he took away from the dream was a sense of contentment, of being at ease with himself and the world, as if he had gotten a preview of heaven. He called that place ‘The Happy Swimming Pool.’ ” Chris believes that everything we think we know about heaven happens in the moments before death. After that, there’s nothing.

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CLEARWATER, FL – A spokesperson for the Church of Scientology International announced its Sea Organization is en route to Africa to fight Somali pirates. Departing from Curacao in the Netherlands Antilles, the elite church members sailed aboard the Freewinds, a former cruise ship sporting 3-inch navy surplus guns and a cargo hold filled with L. Ron Hubbard books and Dianetics literature. Said spokesperson Lyle Divoton, “The church is eager to keep the seaways safe as well as offer any captured pirates a free personality test.” Crewed by OT VIII (Operating Theatens Level 8), Scientology’s highest level, the Freewinds hoped to reach the Indian Ocean by mid-April and commence naval operations, consisting of patrols and broadcasting the soundtrack from Battlefield Earth. “Hopefully, we can lure pirates aboard with the promise of meeting Tom Cruise, then convince them to undertake auditing that will expose personality flaws and traumas.” Divot added, “This auditing can be very expensive, so we may allow the pirates to keep raiding until they finally pay for enough courses to be clear of all engrams. Then they can paint the smokestack while they work through their OT levels. Between us, they’ll never see Tom Cruise except on YouTube, but keep mum on that.”

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(KECKSBURG, Pa.) – Something flew over Canada and a number of U.S. states on December 9, 1965, and landed near Kecksburg, Pennsylvania. By many accounts it was a fireball, some described it as a four pointed star. They said it was a controlled flight; one man said it was as though it was on remote control.

This object trailed by fire in the sky was witnessed by many people who signed statements. There was plenty of media attention, and the owner of the radio station in the local area said the U.S. Army called her for directions to the location of the supposedly downed object.

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Anderson Cooper | BIO
AC360° Anchor

This week we begin a four-part investigation into allegations made by a number of former high ranking members of the Church of Scientology. The allegations are about physical abuse they say took place within the Sea Organization, the international management branch of the church.

These former members, many of whom dedicated their lives to Scientology, allege that the leader of the church, David Miscavige, has used physical violence against a number of Sea Organization members. The church adamantly denies these allegations, and back up their denials with numerous affidavits and testimonials defending Mr. Miscavige and attacking those who are speaking out.

Interestingly, the church spokesman, Tommy Davis, admits there was a history of violence in the Sea Organization, but the people he blames for it are those who are making the allegations against David Miscavige. He says they were demoted by Mr. Miscavige, and are bitter and disgruntled. Some of those making the allegations admit they did engage in violent acts, but say it was at the urging of Mr. Miscavige.

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25 March 2010

Dogs have been trained to carry bombs to attack enemies for decades.  The Soviets and others have used dogs as low-tech smart bombs.  Yet canine platoons likely would rebel if they caught scent they were being duped to die.

Today, more sophisticated people employ men (mostly) to deliver bombs in Afghanistan.  Gullible souls are selected, conditioned, trained and deployed.  Malleable minds are identified then loaded with psychic software that uses their minds to create a vision.  Evil persons of superior intellect identify the raw material—that raw material might be an engineer from a stable family—and trains them to fetch myths.

Suicide attackers have murdered countless thousands of people around the world.  They go by various names, such as Kamikaze, Black Tiger, and Martyr.

The attackers are not all men.  Some are Tigresses.  My friend Alex Perry met a wannabe Black Tigress in Sri Lanka.  She was 18.  Alex described the girl in Time Magazine:

“But asked when she hoped to achieve her dream of being a suicide bomber, she grinned, squirmed and buried her face in her arms. “She’s already written her application,” said her commander, Lt. Col. Dewarsara Banu, smiling at her charge’s shyness. “But there’s still no reply.” “Why hasn’t there been a reply?” whined Samandi, looking up with the one eye, her left, that survived a shot to the head and fiddling with the capsule of cyanide powder around her neck. “I want this. I want to be a Black Tiger. I want to blast myself for freedom.”

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