Cleveland, OH (OPENPRESS) January 6, 2011 — The Church of the SubGenius has announced that the end of the world will take place on Tuesday, July 5, 2011, at precisely 7:00 AM. In preparation for the fulfillment of this doomsday prophecy, the Church is requesting that all of its members participate in a bizarre religious ceremony taking place in southeastern Ohio, during the final weekend before the arrival of the apocalypse.
Since its inception in 1953, Church founder J.R. “Bob” Dobbs has predicted that a fleet of flying saucers will arrive at the beginning of July to destroy the worldwide Conspiracy against the Church of the SubGenius, while all ordained SubGenius ministers will be rescued by escape vessels piloted by the Alien Sex Goddesses, also known as the Xists.
The Church is inviting all of its members worldwide to gather together for the final hours in Pomeroy, Ohio from Wednesday, June 29 to Tuesday, July 5, at a clothing-optional outdoor campground called Wisteria Community. The first X-Day gathering took place in 1996 in upstate New York, and the event has increased in size and participants each following year. 1998 was designated the first true “X-Day,” and each successive year has added one to the total. This will be the first year the SubGenius cult holds its X-Day ritual at Wisteria in Ohio, after “Bob” decreed the new location is closer to the aliens’ chosen “Ground Zero” landing spot. This year’s celebration in 2011 is X-Day 14, or X-Day XIV.
The Church has been engaged in a massive recruitment campaign to increase the numbers of its membership before the arrival of the Xists. According to Church records, the organization currently has approximately 100,000 members worldwide. SubGenius recruitment has been especially dedicated among the ranks of people who refuse to conform to the norms of society, including disbelievers, blasphemers, pranksters, rebels, hackers, pornographers, geeks, and outcasts.