Well my fabulous fun seekers. The day is at hand. The end of the world is scheduled for tomorrow – or perhaps the day after but it’s certainly soon! But I tell you. For the life of me I don’t see what’s going on! Is it killer bees? Giant content spanning tsunamis? Asteroids? Deep freeze or blistering heat?
Well; to solve this kerfuffle I turned to the most accurate news service in the world. A news service that features stories that CNN and FOX are scared to broadcast.
Before it’s News!
Less Than 24 Hours to Go September 23, 2015 Update!
All the Internet predictions for Doomsday are converging in less than 24 hours. Here are the questions that will be answered tomorrow:
Will CERN open the Gates of Hades on September 23, 2015?
Wow! I had no idea that the bastion of science know as CERN was trying to open the actual pit of hell! I quickly check the CERN web page.
“As summer draws to a close, we look forward to the upcoming events at CERN and the surrounding area. Here are just a few of the events in store.”
Oh good, now we can get the straight scoop on how CERN labs will be destroying Earth by opening an inter demonical doorway or something like that.
“CERN is teaming up with several physics laboratories for an international photography competition: The Global Physics Photowalk(link is external). This Friday, selected photographers will be given the unique opportunity to explore the facilities of the world’s largest particle physics laboratory. “
What? Where is the black hole creation, the demon doorway opening? The harbinger to the end time, the last trump the end of stuff is up?
Friday, 25 September: Researchers’ Night/POP Science
CERN will be celebrating the 10th annual European Researchers’ night(link is external), an event celebrated in more than 300 cities in Europe. CERN, in collaboration with various partners, has organised the POP Science project that will take place at a shopping centre on the outskirts of Geneva.
This can’t be right! I don’t see the end of CERN’s funding let alone the end of times!
Lets go back to Before It’s News (BiN). Maybe they have a better answer.
Google Earth still thinks the door will open to Hell. Type in ‘Gates of Hades’ in the Google Earth search bar and Google Earth takes you to CERN’s headquarters in Geneva, Switzerland. And if you type in September 23 2015 or 23 September 2015 or 23 9 2015 or 2015/9/23, Google Earth takes you to CERN headquarters as well.
Hmm. I tried that and got St John’s Square in London and Hierapolis in Turkey. No CERN labs!
Some people think that Google uses an algorithm that connected the date ‘September 23, 2015’ from various cosmic disaster predictions on the Internet with the CERN location. According to this theory, once that connection was made, it created a reinforcing, positive feedback loop. But other people are convinced s really a secret Doomsday message.
Or it must be a false-flag fifth column nuclear attack on New York City! Or perhaps a real diry-bomb or straight out atomic bomb attack on Manhattan Island. Before It’s New is rather short of details. But they are sure it’s going to happen!
Last year the President caused an uproar when he identified a nuclear attack as the number one national security threat to the United States. “I continue to be much more concerned when it comes to our security with the prospect of a nuclear weapon going off in Manhattan,” he said.
Well; I suppose we can discount that since most people at BiN think Obama is a Muslim space-alien that was born in Kenya. Got to watch them Muslim space aliens!
“Will an asteroid hit Puerto Rico on September 23, 2015?”
RT News thinks the danger from asteroids is very real because they have clips of asteroids killing the Earth. And they want to point out that Bruce Willis is not ready to lead a team of misfits on a Super Space Shuttle to work things out.
Then we have this retarded thing from NASA via FOX “news.”
But we all know that NASA is full of shit other than their Mars pictures which show Bigfoot and sinister Darth Vader clones on the surface.
Then, BiN’s most accurate claim, “the “Super Shemitah” (will) herald worldwide economic collapse on September 23, 2015? Author – Rabbi Jonathan Cahn thinks so! “The current Shemitah year ended on September 13, 2015. Now we are entering the Year of Jubilee, which is a “Super Shemitah”. A Super Shemitah is the year following seven Shemitah years, that is, 7 sets of 7 years. Rabbi Cahn believes the Year of Jubilee could bring God’s judgment on America.”
Wow! That’s pretty good evidence of something! If this is true than it makes Judaism the actual religion of God! Sorry all you Christians and Muslims and Watchtower folk and Buddhists and Hindus.
Well; all you funseekers. This is literally the END OF THE WORLD and even though Before it’s News doesn’t know HOW the event is going to happen. They are sure something’s going to happen. They’ve been right about this sort of thing before – like never (right?)
So I’ll either reset my End of the World timer tomorrow or this will be my last entry (I’ll be on a galactic cruiser on the way to Betelgeuse, you think I’d hang around here?
- Bye now!
The Odd Emperor