Official First Contact.

Or “Sandia Wisdom.”

https://www.officialfirstcontact.com/

“I am Cmd. Tlkm from P’ntl. My crew & I, The Sandia Mountain Information Station have come to teach telepathy, archeoplanetography and prepare You for Official First Contact.”

This is the web page of Su Walker, a psychic channeler who visited Albuquerque New Mexico (that place where Bugs Bunny failed to turn left.) There she decided that aliens sekretly built a vast alien base beneath the nearby Sandia Mountains. How she came to this conclusion is unknown.

Su is partly right about bases in hills surrounding Kirkland Airforce base. They did in fact hollow out a mountain just south of The Sandias. I’m pretty sure they were not aliens though.

Su’s aliens are known as the P’ntl (pronounced Pon-tee) One is named Tlkm (pronounced Till-Cum) and Zoot, Nwhl and Tht and of course Radar (Radar wears hats.) I guess most of the aliens have no use for vowels. Except Radar, but he wears hats and you know what people who wear hats are like.

Su painted pictures of all of them! She knows what they look like and everything! Truthfully, she is a pretty good portrait artist – of little freaky bald aliens, I have no idea how she does with real people or “I dunno; fruit n’ shit.” Oh but the little freaky bald aliens are real! My bad! Even the one who wears hats.

After discovering that aliens hollowed out the Sandias. Su did what anyone would do. She bought a home there and started naming the “space brothers” who she was sure were in the vast alien base, and wearing hats.

Now, if the freaky little bald guys don’t happen to contact you, you did somehting wrong! You didn’t imagine hard enough or whatever. Since Su knows the freaky little bald guys and the one who wears hats are really real they will always contact you if you only believe HARD enough. Otherwise?

You suck!

Why is the base alien? Not because it’s inhabited by freaky little bald ETs with funny names. Because people have been living around the Sendia Mountains for a hundred years and nobody noticed any freaky little bald dudes digging out a vast alien base.

Su can get you in touch with the Pon-Tees. All you have to do is buy her book (for a nominal fee,) then do some hard mediation and imagine what it would be like for freaky little bald guys to contact you. That’s it!

Yeah-yeah. Whatever. Official First contact is yet another “channeled” alien contact site.