Or, how to polish a turd.
So last week on my trusty 200 inch crystal vew-visio monitor I watched with amusement as some of you humans in the US tried to change your form of government the old fashioned way. By breaking into government buildings and murdering your officials, then afterwards presumably have a nice box-lunch and set up a new government.
Some of you may understand that I’m just visiting this planet. I’ve seen things like this before. Many times before. This is the way transitions from one warlord to another are handled on most planets. Governments just are you know?. People don’t question them since questions reduce the flow of petty luxuries and too many questions can get one liquidated into places where important pieces of their bodies can be painfully snipped off of them. Before they are liquidated in a very literal sense.
Of course, the default existence of most sentient beings has reared it’s ugly head, that of rule by whomever has the most bone clubs, the most spears or atomic weapons.
Democracy is a rare thing in a violent galaxy.
Most of the time when the quaint experiment of Democracy is attempted, it fails fast.
The Earth polity known as the United States somehow preserved a democratic-ish government for over two hundred revolutions of the planet around its sun. That’s pretty amazing!
So, on the Earth date of January 6th, 2020, democracy in the United States (almost) came crashing down when the outgoing President of the nation asked his supporters to march to the US Capitol building and make it “really hard” for representatives to ratify an election he lost. Thereby cementing himself into history as the US’s first attempted tyrant dictator.
“We’re gathered together in the heart of our nation’s Capitol for one very, very basic and simple reason, to save our democracy.” he said. Yeah right! sez I.
“Fight for Trump! Fight for Trump! Fight for Trump! ” They chanted
“And we fight. We fight like Hell and if you don’t fight like Hell, ” he said “You’re not going to have a country anymore. So we’re going to, walk down Pennsylvania Avenue, love Pennsylvania Avenue, and we’re going to the Capitol and we’re going to try and give… The Democrats are hopeless. They’re never voting for anything, not even one vote. But we’re going to try and give our Republicans, the weak ones, because the strong ones don’t need any of our help, we’re going to try and give them the kind of pride and boldness that they need to take back our country.“
The translation to this astounding word-salad is, Democrat votes are no longer legal in Trump-World. Go get em! And “love Pennsylvania Avenue?” Le-gross! I didn’t think Humans could do that to a road!
His supporters did storm the Capitol building while the Legislators was in session. They didn’t “love Pennsylvania Avenue” than goodness! Even MAGAs have standards. In fact many of his supporters were already at the Capitol, suggesting the whole thing was planed from the beginning. Of course the President had been asking his supporters to flood their nation’s capitol for weeks, and a lot of far right wing groups like the Proud Boys were planning to be there en-mass. so who would have thunk it?
It didn’t go well for everyone. “Elisabeth from Maryland” became the unwitting (and witless) poster child for the “revolution. So did this character.
I mean, he’s colorful and loud. His defenders say he’s a really nice person, so what if he breaks into the US Capitol building wearing that costume, allegedly shouting that the Vice President should be hunted down and killed. People make mistakes!
Well, for this mistake he’s traded one costume for another. A nice orange one.
There’s a pandemic going an and wearing face coverings is thought to be ordinary, polite even! These jokers didn’t bother with that because Freedom. Thank goodness since the Capitol has cameras all over the building and this made identification so much easier.
And so it goes. One of the more astounding things is how surprised Trump supporters were when they got nabbed. It’s not like the cops are smart enough to check out all the rad videos they posted during the break in! Whups!
Now, naturally when the MAGAs discovered that breaking into Congress and threatening to kill people is kind of a federal no-no. They claimed it was ANTIFA or Black Lives Matters or some other group who dressed up in lots of MAGA swag and broke into the building. As if most left wingers in the US would stand and listen to Trump and his little minions speak on a cold January morning. Or run out and disguise themselves with lots of expensive Trump swag. According to MAGAs, Left wing people in the US are all living in Mom’s basement, have no jobs and no money. Kind of seems strange they would travel to Washington DC to take part in a protest that they won.
Oh, and this fellow? he actually lives with Mom! Really! I did not make that up! And he must eat only organic food! Gonna be hard for him in the Federal slam! All those baloney sandwiches!
Now; Rudy Giuliani; that once paragon of – something. The legal genius extraordinaire did his part to whip up the crowd.
It seems to me, we don’t want to find out three weeks from now even more proof that this election was stolen, do we?
This has been a year in which they have invaded our freedom of speech, our freedom of religion, our freedom to move, our freedom to live. I’ll be darned if they’re going to take away our free and fair vote. And we’re going to fight to the very end to make sure that doesn’t happen.
Let’s have trial by combat!
Of course, Rudy tried to distance himself from his own statements after the coup attempt failed.
“I was referencing the kind of trial that took place for Tyrion in that very famous documentary about fictitious medieval England,” Mr. Giuliani said on Tuesday.
Yeah, Rudy, tell us another one!
I mean, it’s not a bad thing to dive deep into fantasy world if you are a MAGA. Paul M. Davis writes in his astounding lawsuit to overturn the election “Gondor has no King,”, “to invoke a very appropriate quote from the J.R.R. Tolkien epic classic, ‘Lord of the Rings.’” His contention seems to me that since the Putsch he attempted with his little MAGA friends failed. The courts should install Donald Trump as king of America (since he’s the only duly elected official because “everyone knows.”) The courts also need to ditch every member of Congress and install loyal Trump “stewards,” presumably until an election with no pesky opposing party can be held.
I suppose it’s no big stretch to believe Game of Thrones and Tolkien’s worlds are real if one is a MAGA.
Oh and yeah. The FBI collected your pictures.
Be good Funseekers.
The Odd Emperor.