Chronicles of John Titor II

This is the saga of John Titor II. It’s an odd tale. A fairly convoluted tale, full of mystery, high tech, paranormal musings and of course inaccurate predictions since it’s almost certainly a work of fiction. Like much of John Titor himself!

John Titor is a real person mind you. At least I think so. His name is not really John Titor and he really didn’t travel through time, or work as a test pilot, or command an air combat group. Or has spaceships hidden is sekret warehouses or is best buds with an alien named Roc.

What he really turns out to be is kind of a fibber!

Here is one of the many bios on him.

“John Titor II Entered duty with the Air Force as an Airman in the U.S. Air Force at Dulce, New Mexico. Trained because of his abilities to become an officer and pilot. He received intensive training on the latest air frames and power plants available. This included the TR-3B spacecraft and TR-6 Telos. John Titor commanded the 177th Division. Later he was given the command of a combat group. Author “Aurhorized (sic): Chronicles of John Titor II” and “Continued: Chronicles of John Titor II.”

Um – sure sure. Nobody familiar with the US military could possibly believe that. First of all Airmen are not “promoted” to become officers and pilots. All pilots are officers and enlisted people could possibly become a commissioned officer, but that’s a hard – unlikely road. First you have to earn a bachelors degree in some STEM field with an above 3.4 GPA. Then you have to appear before a review board (having a pilots licence is BIG plus here.) If you are below the age of 30 and a second lieutenant you can attend one of only three training schools in the US and if you are physically and mentally sound? Then you can attend flight training where most applicants wash out. Nobody gets “discovered” as an Airman and just given pilot training. Outside of movies and John Titor’s imagination.

It began back in 2001. On some obscure web forum called Coast to Coast. A user began to post astounding things, as if they were true. Of course he didn’t actually post evidence, what does evidence or facts have to do with an interesting story?

He begins -vacume
Greetings. I am a time traveller (sic) from the year 2036. I am on my way home after getting an IBM 5100 computer system from the year 1975.

Time travel missions to the past can make barely detectable changes to the time line in the hear (sic) and now for all of us. Mankind’s history can be changed and most people would not even suspect something had been done.

Jeepers! It looks like spell and grammar checking software has stopped working in the future! So has fourth grade grammar education, but we can see that all over Reddit so – maybe!

John is far more than just a time-traveler. Apparently he’s a clone of the original John Titor too. Not that being a clone makes this story more believable (nor does he provide any evidence, yet again. ) It does make things more complicated and a lot more silly!

Of course some detales of how he traveled in time leaked out. Rather than using a DeLorean with a flux capacitor or whatever. He used an old Corvette with a dual singularity slingar. At lot cooler I suppose.

Don’t need no stinking flux capacitor! We got vacuum tubes bitch!

“My ‘time’ machine is a stationary mass, temporal displacement unit manufactured by General Electric. The unit is powered by two top-spin dual-positive singularities that produce a standard off-set Tipler sinusoid.“

John wouldn’t be a good time traveler without predictions of the future. How does he stack up in 2020?
* “A World War in 2015 killed nearly 3 billion people.”
*“As a result of the many conflicts, no, there were no official Olympics after 2004. However, it appears they may be revived in 2040.”
* A civil war in the US around 2004
* CERN would discover the basis for time travel sometime around 2001.

Um 0 and 0.
Of course, John explained that the predictions “might” not come true because of the many worlds hypothesis. Convenient that.

John Titor continues…

“Lastly I go out and investigate what I write about. As you may surmise from the pictures above. I will travel anywhere to verify information. In the photograph of me standing in a canyon. I went to where Reptilians had been reported to the US Forestry Service for eating human flesh. I found a deserted town and military looking sniper teams that talked to me and then warned me off.

Um, yeah. Once again. no evidence or corroboration. And we are to believe the military keeps sniper teams running 24/7 watches on a deserted town and nobody has any idea where this is, or what town the hundred guards live in?

Yeah – right!

More, um – fascinating stuff from John Titor.

“We are Farmed, and Harvested!

We as a species have been farmed and harvested by extraterrestrials. Look at the pyramids of South America and the ramps, visualize members of the local populations marched up to waiting space craft. Scientists were initially stumped as to what happened to huge populations. They were used as food, slaves, and cyborgs.“

Um, no? Archaeologist know exactly what happened to the population centers in South America. During the Colombian Exchange a series of deceases brought by the Spanish decimated the population and the Spanish murdered and enslaved the rest. But that’s just boring history.

More gems from John. …

“I believe that at one point man coexisted with dinosaurs. There is archaeological evidence to support this. I believe dinosaurs were deliberately eliminated because they posed a threat to mankind’s development. They would inhibit the building of cities “

Other than, there’s not a smidgen of evidence to support any of this.

“I am a chronicler of history, I observe and report. Politicians are the bane of mankind. Perhaps my writing will be discovered hundreds of years from now and the reader will wonder why no one listened. My answer is perhaps they were too busy to read. “

OH! Very deep – (derp)

Well the reality? It seems that this stuff is actually by a pathological liar by the name of Dana Lee Stern Sr. That’s for the second and current Titor. The original one seems to be a Florida lawyer by the name of Larry Haber. Or maybe Larry is just Titor’s attorney. It’s pretty confusing.

“The identity of this second public Titor is believed to be Dana Lee Stern Sr, a man with a notable criminal record, a pile of aliases, and who claims his own son exsistinjected Windex into his brother’s brain as a child to give him cancer.“

But wait. John Titor, time traveler and all around swell guy, isn’t? He’s really some dude named Dana Lee Stern Sr and he’s been taking people for rides on teh Internet for decades? Say it isn’t so!

So the CURRENT John Titor seems to be a prolific Facebook blogger and YouTuber. He’s got like ten Facebook groups which he posts on nearly every day, all ten of them! He put up a lot of YouTube videos, mostly about how Democratic Party in the US are destroying that nation and how wonderful their current leader Donald Trump is. Pretty standard stuff for a possibly dottering time traveler who’s obviously spent most of his life just (urr) fibbing to people.

He’s also a prolific You Tuber – go figure! Usually he mumbles about, oh traitors of any and all stripe. You know.! Democrats all. Also actors, writers and just about anyone who doesn’t like his hero Donald J Trump. He’s also predicting a new civil war, in December of 2019 this time and it’s because (three guesses) the Democrats suck balls and impeached his hero.

That’s pretty much it. George Soros and all Democrats are trying to bring down the government (ie) Donald Trump. Also Obama, the Clinton (mass murder hit squad) Nancy Pelsoi and of course anyone who happens to be a Democrat. Pretty odd for nascent time traveler to be angry about stuff which should be just history. Especially when he claimed the US would cease to exist in 2004.

Share and enjoy!