15-19 Logos Christian Fellowship, Submitted by the Odd Emperor with express thanks to Penn and Teller.
I stole this one from Penn and Teller. When I looked at their web page I found that I had to include it here, no choice!
Like this bit from Ufologists for Jesus! (I can’t keep from smiling when I see that…. Ufologists for Jesus.. Ha)
What makes you think you’ve been abducted by bothersome aliens?
- Have you had abductions since childhood?
- Has this happened to other members of your family or relatives?
- Do you fear another abduction, but feel special?
- Can you tell when the abductions are about to take place?
- Do you find yourself sharing about your experiences with strangers?
- Do you feel pride in knowing the different beings?
- Are you able to stop the abductions some times and not others?
- Have you been shown an alien child or your hybrid child?
- Have you been to other places other than the ships like subterranean caverns?
- 10. Have you seen the same alien(s) repeatedly?
Well good news funseekers!! You are not being abducted by strange vile creatures from another solar system. It just run-of-the-mill demons! And rest assured that if it’s good-ol ‘ demons the good-holy folk down at Logos Christian Fellowship will fix you right up!
And not by any of any pussy Catholic ceremony either. The good-holy folk at Logos Christian Fellowship will rip that that pesky demon’s head right off and piss down it’s scaly neck!
All in the name of Jesus.
So pack your bags sinners! A Greyhound ticket to bucolic Leesburg Florida is not too expensive. I’m not sure what you will do once you get that pesky demon excised out of your brain. Sit around, drink Ripple and watch the traffic lights change
blink-blink
And that’s why Trump is so deferential to Putin.
And that’s why Melania Trump walks around like she’s Carmela Soprano in Season 7.
And that’s why the Trump Cabinet is honeycombed with Russian sympathizers (I haven’t even mentioned the friendship medal Secretary of State Rex Tillerson personally received from Putin).
And that’s why Snowden is in Russia, and Assange is still holed up in the Ecuadorian embassy.
And that’s why Rudy Giuliani withdrew his name from consideration for State.
Most of all, that’s why Barack Obama seems so chill about the whole thing. He knows how the movie ends! But thanks to Glomar, there can be no spoilers.
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Inducted June 20, 2007