Odd Empire Update, 15-11. A.P.A.R.T. of Washington

15-11 A.P.A.R.T of Washington, Submitted by the Odd Emperor with thanks to Man-God Rick.

I wonder what in the heck is going on! Everyone and their brother is getting into ghost busting.

HEY! Helloooow! Ghost Busters was a MOVIE! It was FICTION! The StayPuffed Marshmallow Man was just a special effect! Bill Murray did not really boff Sigourney Weaver as she floated over her bed (although it would have been fun to watch.)

WELL! All the good people at A.P.A.R.T of Washington have no intention of letting some facts stand in their way. According to A.P.A.R.T of Washington;

We will always strive to do this in the utmost professional manner, and with complete discretion. We assist in helping, comforting and educating those who do not understand, or may be frightened by, the events happening around them.

Well sure, complete discretion other than the fact that they publish the results which mostly consist of
(a) we visited some home where people believe they are being haunted by ghosts.
(b) We hung around with our cheap-assed video cameras and some psychics.
(c) All the psychics thought there was a ghost in the house
(d) The cameras picked up orbs and shit. And finally
(e) We believe there is a ghost in the house!

Wow! With that kind of scientific investigation I bet they could find a ghost or two in the Odd Empire Imperial Palace! With me following them around muttering “you people are a bunch of clowns! There are no ghosts here!” Fuck the demons scare them away!

So! If you want some nice people to come to your home have and tell you that you have a ghost infestation (assuming you live in Auburn, Washington.) Call these folks up. If you think all this ghost business is a bunch of nonsense, I have a great 1984 comedy movie to show you.

Watch out for Gozer people!

Inducted March 23, 2007

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4 Responses to Odd Empire Update, 15-11. A.P.A.R.T. of Washington

  1. RDB says:

    A.P.A.R.T of Auburn, Washington. Heh-heh. That’s practically in my backyard.

    The State of Washington has many strange things, as you will see if you read my post at AAMB, “Weird Washington”

    http://strangegrub.blogspot.com/2007/04/weird-washington.html

    The above post reviews many bizarre things within the confines of the Evergreen State, and I feel perfectly safe in saying that this is only the tip of the iceberg.

    And related posts:

    http://strangegrub.blogspot.com/2007/04/weird-washington-followup-crack-of.html

    http://strangegrub.blogspot.com/2007/04/more-follow-up-on-weird-washington.html

    Remember the “Paranormal Group” B.O.O. that you inducted to the Empire? They’re in Bellingham, WA, in the extreme NW corner of the state (about 90 miles from Auburn). Also located in Bellingham is C.O.N.T.A.C.T, the “Center for Ontological Action.” They used to have a website, but it doesn’t appear to be online anymore. However, I’m on their mailing list, and have been tucking stuff in a folder for over three years now. I’ll have to pull some gems out, soon, to share with you.

    I frickin’ hate paranormal acronyms. Here’s one that hasn’t been used, yet, however: B.U.T.T.M.U.N.C.H.

    Lets see, here – I should be able to do a decent job thinking up the paranormal org. name that goes with the above acronym:

    Beantown UFO Twits, Troglodytes and Morons United in Nonsense, Crapola and Horseshit

  2. RDB says:

    Also pertinent to your post is “The Snow Ghost: How Sh*t Happens

    http://strangegrub.blogspot.com/2007/04/snow-ghost-how-sht-happens.html

  3. No amount of explanation will convince some of these people. They believe that photo artifacts constitute paranormal activity period and no pleas from us skeptics or anyone else is going to change that. It’s almost like we are splitting into two separate societys. One with a rational systematic and dare we say scientific approach to problem solving and another more irrational, emotional approach. One that can be personified by Regan Lee’s recent plea that (paraphrasing) “if people are sincere in their beliefs about something than they cannot be telling a lie about it.”

    In reality, the reverse is often true, a passionate belief in something almost guarantees that a person will be willing to lie to themselves about it. Once one begins to lie to oneself, a lie to another becomes easy. Not only that, by the internal logic of the lie it becomes the truth, unless some pesky rationalist comes along and ruins the party.

  4. RDB says:

    One that can be personified by Regan Lees recent plea that (paraphrasing) if people are sincere in their beliefs about something than they cannot be telling a lie about it.

    Yep – that’s pretty much summarizes the superficial underpinnings of “open-minded” paranormalists.

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