15-7 Within the Spiral KAMatrix, Submitted by the Odd Emperor with thanks to Aliens Ate My Buick guy.
(“beyond the duality of the 3rd dimension which is linear,
into the holographic spheres of the heart and intuitive potentials”)
Now what the hell is that supposed to mean? “Holographic spheres of the heart?” I really hate it when people use techno garble to try and describe something that they don’t really understand. I suffered through seven years of Star Trek, the Next Generation for crying loud! Stop it!!!!
What I do understand about Within the Spiral Matrix is this. Spiral Matrix is not your run-of the-mill new age web page. No it’s a world class freaky new age web page. (That’s a complement coming from me dears, don’t get riled up now.)
Now, truthfully, I’ve been around the Imperial Marine Biology lab a bit, the staff there assures me that anyone who claims to talk to dolphins is not playing with a full oyster. (The proper term is’“Bottlenose Dolphin” or Tursiops truncatus, a Dolphin is actually a type of fish. )
But that’s what the experts say, what the flip do they know! Joan Ocean knows Dolphins – and Whales – and Orbs and Bigfoots!
They have developed soft and hard technologies which include: free energy; organic light vehicles; frequency-propulsion systems; interplanetary and interdimensional communication and travel; freedom from time and space constraints; and beautiful, pristine environments. In some instances, ETs have evolved to states of perfect health; advanced mental capabilities; telepathy; thought creations; molecular transformation; virtual immortality; and an active and loving relationship with the Great Order of Universal Geometries.
Oooo! I can dig it! I once had a torrid relationship with a triangle, until I found out it was a tetrahedral, (yuck!)
For many years the presence of these ET Friends was ignored or denied by people who focus on Earthbound concerns and occupations. However, their presence in our skies and on our minds is so prevalent, that they can no longer be dismissed.
Blaa blaa blaa, Stop worrying about car payments, the kid’s college tuition and the mortgage, you might start seeing space aliens!
I can’t argue with that!
But seriously, even though the tenants of Ms Ocean’s arguments are silly and unfounded, we can be comforted by the thought that Bigfoot is really a Dolphin-in-the-woods and Dolphins are pan-dimensional creatures that LUV us and really want you to eat safe tuna products. I’m not sure what Bigfoot wants us to eat.
Just remember that Bigfoots are also pan-dimensional beings that can teleport at will! One might pop into your bedroom one dark-and-stormy night to poke you in the bellybutton!
It’s possible! It could happen!
Inducted October 22, 2006
What I do understand about Within the Spiral Matrix is this. Spiral Matrix is not your run-of the-mill new age web page. No it’s a world class freaky new age web page.
Yes, it is – but it’s a freaky New Age web page with a purpose, and that purpose is making a living, and a good one.
(Read through the information I give here, for maximum “shock value.”)
For example, in 2007, she is offering a total of 13 seminars, the cheapest of which is $1100 per person, and the most expensive of which is $2450 per/person. Many of the seminars require a $400-$500 non-refundable deposit to reserve a space. All require a $400 deposit, which is refundable if you give her 30 days notice of cancellation. None include airfare, and not all include accomodations or meals.
January 21-27: Star Beings at Sky Island Ranch US$1550.
February 4 – 9: Whales and Dolphins of Hawaii US$1895
April 1 – 6: The Wisdom of the Dolphins with Peter Russell and Joan Ocean US$1895.
May 6 – 12: Star People & The Wise Ones (CLOSED) $1100
June 10 – 16: Dolphins & the Andromedans with Joan Ocean & Jean-Luc US $1550
July 1 – 7: Spotted Dolphins of Bimini with Lisa H. Denning & Joan Ocean US $1950 + $550 non-refundable deposit
July 8 – 14: Star People & The Wise Ones $1100
August 3 – 10 : HUMPBACK WHALES of Niue Island, South Pacific ( one space left ) $2450 + $500 non-refundable deposit
August 10 – 17: HUMPBACK WHALES of Niue Island, South Pacific (FULL) $2450 $500 non-refundable deposit
August 17 – 24: HUMPBACK WHALES of Niue Island, South Pacific ( two spaces left ) $2450 $500 non-refundable deposit
September 2 – 8: GOOD VIBRATIONS with Joan Ocean and Sound Specialist, Elaine Thompson from the UK
September 23 – 28: INTRODUCTION TO DOLPHINS $1895
October 14 – 20: Star People & The Wise Ones $1100
December 2 – 7: DOLPHINS OF HAWAII $1895
Regarding the “Star Peoples and the Wise Ones” seminar, involving small groups of six people or so interacting with “multidimensional beings” that live out in the sticks, she makes this note: “Due to the high security required for the confidentiality of these gatherings, there will be certain Protocols to follow, such as no photography or filming permitted and the requirement of a signed agreement regarding confidentiality about what takes place on our seminar.”
Fascinating, Captain.
Assume that she only accepts 10 persons per seminar, a conservative estimate, and suppose that she fills all the seminars.
Gross intake before expenses: $296,100.
Let’s say 70% of that she has to pay out as overhead (unlikely). That’s $88,830 in her pocket, for 2007. Even if we bump it up to where she’s paying 80% out in overhead (that’s even more unlikely), that’s still just under $60,000 in her pocket, before taxes. Assuming she pays taxes.
Check it out for yourself. http://www.joanocean.com/Seminars.html
Now let’s go over to one of her photograph pages – this one from the Dolphin and ET Civilizations Conference
June 2005, held in Kona, Hawaii.
http://www.etfriends.com/conference/ETphotos.html
I see some familiar faces, there, which I now list:
Joan Ocean
Michael Salla – former college professor, got fired, now an “exopolitician.” Considers George Adamski and Billy Meier credible sources.
Michael Horn – Billy Meier’s representative and spokesman. In the “UFO Hall of Shame”
Alfred Webre – Another exopolitician.
Courtney Brown – Remote Viewer, used to offer trainings for thousands of dollars, but he must have gotten busted, because it’s all freebies, now. Also was involved in the faked “spaceship following Hale Bopp” picture fiasco, that got him kicked off Art Bell forever (even though Art bought it hooked line and sinker)
Linda Moulton Howe – Another UFO Hall of Shamer. Into everything from Bigfoot to Cattle Mutes and Crop circles. Charges fees to see archived material on her website, or at least she did. It’s not like I go around there much. (scroll down – one of the pictures of Howe is really funny. I don’t know if she’s having a spontaneous orgasm, or if it’s just a bad picture.
Richard Boylan – Yet another individual in the UFO Hall of Shame. Had his therapist’s license revoked by the State of California for bartering professional services in exchange for massages and nude hot tubbing (among other things). Now runs a camp for “starkids.”
Stanton Friedman – Maybe just to show that he’s not discriminating about where his next paycheck comes from. I wonder how this guy sleeps at night.
Anyway, I look at these photos, and the first thing that crosses my mind, is: who’s boinking whom? And the next thought that crosses my mind is that everyone in the seminar is getting screwed – in a figurative sense, however. And liking it. So, I suppose they’re getting their money’s worth, they’re happy. Happy idiots. Carl Sagan would shit himself.
Holgraphic spheres of the heart forgive my cynicism.
Yes, I sure don’t see people giving up earthly concerns here.
You know that dolphins are kind of like sailors? Whatever they can’t eat they try to hump. When I think about who’s getting screwed by what on those dolphin encounters? it’s not hard to imagine.
but your rogue’s gallery? Those are not idiots. They are entertainers who pretend to be researchers or spiritualists. A few of them are probably sincere which simply makes them deluded. The idiots are the poor folks who give up their retirement or mortgage their manufactured home for the privilege of swimming with the fishes.
And may bigfoot appear before me and poke me in the eye if I’m wrong!
You know that dolphins are kind of like sailors? Whatever they can’t eat they try to hump.
Well, then they’re a lot like us! }:>
When I think about who’s >getting screwed by what on those dolphin encounters? it’s not hard to imagine.
Yeah, but Pepe no wanna… :-O
Those are not idiots. They are entertainers who pretend to be researchers or spiritualists. A few of them are probably sincere which simply makes them deluded. The idiots are the poor folks who give up their retirement or mortgage their manufactured home for the privilege of swimming with the fishes.
Of course I know that – the “happy little idiots” I was referring to were the audience, as opposed to the cast and crew.
In fact, if you scroll down to the bottom of that page and look at the last three photographs…the photo of the audience (gathered in the back, rather than seated, so as to avoid showing that it wasn’t a full house) is labeled: “They ALL said YES,” and the photograph of the speakers is labeled “The Cast and Crew say Thanks.”
Thanks for “putting bread in our mouths,” that is.
As for the sincerely deluded ones, I have to admit that Joan Ocean and Michael Salla both have a bit of a crazed look in their eye, IMHO. Boylan just looks like a sleepy old pervy grandpa who needs a haircut. Solidly have of them need to trim their eyebrows, but I guess they’re going for the distinguished “Andy Rooney” look.
Of course, if I hadn’t been married to a woman who dinged at me about trimming my eyebrows and nosehairs, I might not be concerned about it, either.
And may bigfoot appear before me and poke me in the eye if I’m wrong!
Not gonna happen, right or wrong, because he just aint. (did I ever mention I went through a period of “wide-eyed,” Bigfoot fascination in my youth, similar to my wide-eyed UFO fascination of that time? Oh, those halcyon days…
Having been born and raised in Bigfoot country, and living there to this day, this is my take on Bigfoot, the “Bigfoot Crossing” sign that used to be at the summit of one of the Cascade passes nothwithstanding. Remember this line from Han Solo, in Star Wars:
“Kid, I’ve flown from one side of this galaxy to the other, and I’ve seen a lot of strange stuff. But I’ve never seen anything to make me believe that there’s one all-powerful Force controlling everything.”
Make that “Dude, I’ve been all over this country, from the great rainforests of the Olympic Peninsula, to the forests and Alpine Meadows of the high Cascades, and I’ve seen a lot of interesting stuff. But I’ve never seen anything to make me believe that there’s a huge anthropoid living in the woods, hereabouts. I’ve seen bears, elk, deer, bobcats, coyotes, skunks, marmots, picas, Great Pileated woodpeckers and Downy woodpeckers and Great Blue Herons (also called “Shikepokes”) and Beavers and Red Winged Blackbirds and Goldfinches and Monarch butterflies, hundreds of them in a patch of sunlight in the woods, and wild easter lilies and bleeding hearts and morel mushrooms, and Bald eagles and Golden eagles and owls and chipmunks and grey, tan, and black squirrels, and possums, and raccoons, and rats, mice, moles and shrews, and garter snakes and alligator lizards and click beetles and stinkbugs and dragonflies and damselflies, and down by the ocean, or taking the ferry to one of the San Juan Islands I’ve seen seals, and killer whales, in pods, and dolphin pods, and sea urchins and sea cucumbers and chitins and limpets and clams and oysters and sand dollars, and crabs and shrimp, and bluegills, and basking sharks, and otters and scallops and salmon and trout and LOTS MORE living things of all kinds….
But I never saw a Bigfoot. Never even knew anyone who saw a Bigfoot. But now we DO have three Espresso stands here in town called “Bigfoot Espresso.”
When I was growing up, as well, all throughout my youth I got my hair cut at “Bud and Sonny’s” barbershop. They were both avid outdoorsmen – hunters and fishermen – as were most of their clientele. I sat in there once every couple of months for FIFTEEN or more years, reading the same copies of Field and Stream over and over, and I listened to the old boys shoot the shit. They talked about lots of different things that they did and encountered in the wilderness, but they never once mentioned Bigfoot.
Correction: I saw the trout and the bluegills in lakes and local streams – not down at the sea. Fished for them. And for crawdads, with bacon on the end of a fishing line.
>Never even knew anyone who saw a Bigfoot.
Another correction. I twice addressed the local “paranormal enthusiasts” club here, by invitation (this is when I was running the Magonia Exchange project), and on the second occassion, one rather scruffy looking guy was relating how he and his friend had been “interacting” with Bigfoot, via “tree-knocking” up on Chuckanut mountain (been up there, many times, all the way to the summit- lots of “bonk-bonk” pileated woodpeckers around there – the “Woody Woodpecker” kind, with the red crest). Indeed, the last trip I took we packed our stuff in with Llamas. Lunching on the shores of Lost Lake, were were literally surrounded with “tree knocking.” From woodpeckers. I would have known this, even if I hadn’t seen them up at the top of old snags, where there’s lots of bugs to eat.
The amount of tree knocking that day would have required scores of Bigfoots.
So, as I heard the guy waxing enthusiastic about how he’d gone back out there with his bongo drums and “jammed with Bigfoot…” well, I just looked at my feet.
Just the other morning I was awakened by a Downy Woodpecker, pecking on the metal chimney stack of the gas stove (I turn it off at night). I had to go out and chase him away. I don’t know what he thought he was going to find, pecking on metal.
I have tried to convince Stan to avoid things like this, as have others (Dick Hall pops to mind), but to no avail. I mean, if it was a bunch of good people and maybe one or two wackos, okay, but if everyone else is a wacko (and many of them are people Stan has lambasted publicly, like Salla), then… well, let’s just say that you’re often judged by the company you keep.
Paul
There’s a saying around the Odd Empire, “you get that way by the company you keep.†I mean, I hope they at least payed for Stan’s ticket! OF course then it would be, “you get there by the company you keep.â€
Ufology is one of the few fields where to be respected, one has to A)be sincere and B) hang around the right people. There are two other fields that fit that description, some portions the Entertainment Industry and Religion.
Odd:
Actually, sincerity is hardly a prerequisite for ufological success – otherwise you wouldn’t see people at conferences being all chummy with people they’ve blasted elsewhere. I mean, basic politeness is one thing, but hanging out for drinks and having a good time with people for whom you have no respect is another, and yet it goes on all the time, usually in the interests of making more moolah for everyone involved.
Paul
I love Sonny With A Chance, I’d have to say my favorite on the show is Sonny, I’m hooked on the show! Thanks for your post!