How to know if you’ve previously been abducted by extraterrestrials

By: Aaron Sakulich in the Triangle

I can remember screwing around on the Internet once in high school, finding a list of things that might indicate that you have the reincarnated soul of some sort of space priest. Or something. I remember reading it and realizing how many of the things applied to me, and thinking how nice it would be to believe that I was a truly special individual. Even then, however, cynicism and skepticism, the hot older sisters of rationality, were with me, and I was instantly struck by the fact that all of those things could apply to anyone.

I don’t remember much about that list beyond the vague introduction I gave above. However, I have managed to find something similar: a list of possible signs that you have been abducted by space aliens. As a tribute to my high-school self, I hope you won’t think it tedious of me to go through the list, point by point, and examine them.

The list was found at a popular new-age Web site, Crystalinks.com; items from the original list appear in bold, and my running commentary appears below. Other than that, the list has not been edited in any way. All the “signs” are there, and even the ones with grammatical errors have not been changed.

Feeling you are special or chosen or have an important task to perform

This is one that I remember verbatim from the list I found in high school. Let me be absolutely clear: Thinking you’re special doesn’t mean that you were at one point abducted by space aliens. It means that you have good self-esteem, bordering on a bit of arrogance. This sign definitely applies to me: I think I’m a pretty good guy, and I have a very important task to perform. Thinking you’re better than others doesn’t make you a space man. It makes you kind of an asshole.

Have a memory of having a special place with spiritual significance, when you were a youngster

It would be a very sad childhood if you couldn’t recall a special place from when you were young. The first thing to leap to mind for me is the little plywood clubhouse my friends and I built under our deck, to say nothing of the little log fort we built way out in the woods. There was also the local creek, where we’d try and catch crawdads. I don’t know if I’d call it spiritual per se, but these were the places where I fell in love with the forest, which is surely a spiritual thing.

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