Hoagland has the Answer. Now what’s the question again?

Richard C. Hoagland just cracks me up, no I admit it. This fellows flights of fancy have given me happy hours of amusement in the voluminous and absurd tomes that he writes.

Now he has a weblog and absurdities abound, delivered daily to the fine mahogany desk of the Odd Emperor.

Why just today I learned to day that Hurricanes like the one that just slammed into the US Gulf Coast are *not* large storms powered by the interaction between warm water, cooler air, moisture and the rotation of the Earth. They are in fact hyperdimensional thingies. Huge artificial structures designed to wreak havoc in American cities. A fiendish plot that could only have been contrived by the sinister US government, or some vile multinational corporation bent on world domination.

Good thing that Hurricanes can’t be a natural phenomena! Hell, all those accounts from the 19th century and before must be simple fever-dreams of people wracked with malaria. All that stupid tree ring and sedimentary evidence? Must be a bunch of bullcrap.

Or the hyperdimensional hurricane creator device (HHCD) must have been around even back then!

Hyperdimensional? What the vug is that?

Well Mr. Hoagland has the answer ( I knew he would!) Just lookee here! Hurricane Ivan’s eye back in 2004 was kind of like, blurry, over-reprocessed photos of the planet Saturn. You can see patterns in the cloud wall and as we all know, hurricane eyes should be completely without patterns of any kind.

In fact this proves the hyperdimensional model of the entire solar system although this stunning revelation does not get us any closer to what the hell hyperdimensional means. I would really like a definition of the word. (Sigh,) Looks like I’m going to have to consult the Official Odd Emperor Word Definition Archive. (OOEWDA)

Hyper means

“Having a very excitable or nervous temperament; high-strung.“Emotionally stimulated or overexcited.

There are several definitions for “dimensional.” I guess the most revalent one might be

“ Physics. A physical property, such as mass, length, time, or a combination thereof, regarded as a fundamental measure or as one of a set of fundamental measures of a physical quantity: Velocity has the dimensions of length divided by time.”

So I guess the term hyperdimensional means,“overexcited, nervous and emotional physical qualities? Wow, that’s pretty heavy!

But the term hyperdimensional itself?, hmmm When I looked up this term I discovered

“No entry found for hyperdimensional. “

In desperation I turned to Wikipidia, surly they would know what hyperdimensional means. But alas I found

“No page with that title “

I’m thinking that hyperdimensional is not really a word or at best, a made up word. Well that’s OK! We all know that people like Hoagland can make up new words when ever they want. If the rest of us were better ejumacated (or something) we could all make up words! Wouldn’t that be fun? I want to make up a word now! How about Quasiundermanagementreality?”? I don’¢t know what this means yet but it sounds important! Hoagland continues on his blog.

.
One professional meteorologist, Scott Stevens — at KPVI-TV in eastern Idaho — has
independently reached the same scientific conclusion that we have … that “someone” is indeed “managing” our weather!

Scientific Conclusions? Just saying so must make it all true right? I bet Mr. Hoagland made observations (on long term hurricane and global climate data.) Formed a hypothesis, experimented on his hypothesis using controls (like he constructed a model of the planet Earth inside a giant supercomputer and replaced water vapor with limburger cheese vapor to see what happens.) Found that the data supported or refuted his hypothesis, revised his hypothesis and went back to testing and experimentation.

Well, he probably just made that all up but it’s OK! Making up stuff and claiming it’s a scientific conclusion is a time honored tradition among some people but we know Mr. Hoagland’s not like that!

So Wow! They must be pretty crappy managers! The weather seems to be getting worse, especially around the Gulf States. Do you think that (gasp!) Someone is CAUSING all the death and destruction in the southern US?

“As I (Hoagland) bluntly asked one of our own long-time Enterprise “intel insiders,” late last night:

“Are we, in fact — as Bearden strongly now suggests — immersed in an undeclared hyperdimensional weather war …!? “

So in conclusion we can plainly see that;

1) hurricanes are not natural phenomena but man made artificial storms using magical devices that have been around since at least 1600.

2) Hurricanes are steered so that their impact on cities can be maximized.

3) Hurricane Katrina was purposely steered into New Orleans to cause maximum economic damage to the US. even though it really missed, the center actually hit the towns of Biloxi and Gulfport. I guess no one’s perfect.

4) Over-processed photos (where you run unsharp mask filters and other electronic processing programs over and over) are to be assumed to depict actual things and not emerging rasters or Moray patterns like first year graphic artists are taught.

But the most stunning revelation? The Ralston Purina Corporation
must actually be the culprits behind engineered hurricanes! Look, here’s proof.

This photo from Richard Hoagland’s own web page of Hurricane Katrina CLEARLY shows the checkerboard device of the Ralston Purina Company. This is the smoking gun! The proof that Richard Hoagland is absolutely right and all those stupid meteorologists and climate guys should just pack it in and learn another trade, truck driving for instance.

How much more proof do we need? It must be a world-wide plot to destroy the US economy, disrupting the FOOD SUPPLY over a wide area by using five hundred year old hyperdimensional hurricane creation devises (HHCDs) The Purina Corporation comes in, distributing rations to starving people, making tons of money in the process. What could be more simple!

To think that we were almost taken over by a large pet-food conglomerate.

Thanks Richard! We would all be eating dog food right now if it were not for your diligent efforts.

The Odd Emperor