{"id":3363,"date":"2017-12-24T21:27:27","date_gmt":"2017-12-25T01:27:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/oddempire.org\/weblog\/?p=3363"},"modified":"2021-01-24T17:29:30","modified_gmt":"2021-01-24T17:29:30","slug":"orbiter-the-movie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/2017\/12\/24\/orbiter-the-movie\/","title":{"rendered":"Orbiter – the Movie"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I don’t often critique movies,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But this one?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Oh boy!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can see the pitch meetings now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“It’s a mashup of Left Behind and Gravity! Without Nicolas Cage or Sandra Bullock, It’s a “faith-based” spaaaaace adventure! It’s sure to bring all the Science Fiction nerds and born again Christians back to the theater again and again! It can’t miss!”<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

“WTF is a “faith-based” movie anyway?” I asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lucky for me  the web page has this nifty answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The “faith-based” movie genre is the new success market in the U.S. and in many areas of the world. To be sure, it requires knowledge of the audience base from an inside perspective, and with sincerity and belief.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Really? “it requires knowledge of the audience<\/em>?”<\/strong> Like they should be fluent in English? Have some foreknowledge of western culture and know a little bit about Science Fiction?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ah – no silly person!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You have to believe….. in Jesus!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Frankly, having a prerequisite belief of JESUS in spaaaace seems to be asking a bit much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But this is OrbiT<\/strong>er \u2122, the movie. Not to be confused with Orbiter the open source space simulation program<\/a>. OrbiT<\/strong>er \u2122 is the brainchild of filmmaker David Rosler. He did some storyboard work on The Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers. He directed “Saturday Morning ” (which seemed to be a C grade comedy direct to DVD.) Something called The First Men on the Moon and the animated “Everyone’s Hero.” (Although he doesn’t seem to actually appear in the credits.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don’t worry about not hearing about any of these. I’ve never heard of them either, with the exception of Galaxy Rangers. That one I pretty much ignored because cartoons of people on robot horses is kind of a non-starter. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he’s working on his magnum opus. A film that is sure to bring all the nerds –
TO JESUS – in spaaaaace no-less!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

OrbiT<\/strong>er \u2122 is little more than a trailer at this point. Actually far less than a trailer. He’s got a couple of actors working in green-screen sets with photos of the International Space Station plastered in the background. Some awful looking CGI of people in space suits paddling around like they were in a swimming pool. Actors discussing their Bibles on the ISS with lots of CGI junk spinning in the background. Closeups of the evil and probably atheist Russians. CGI of the ISS burning (in spaaaace!) Newsreel footage of North Korean troops and armored personnel carriers. More fire in space. More CGI of people firing guns in space and other absurd things.<\/p>\n\n\n