{"id":308,"date":"2007-06-12T10:58:32","date_gmt":"2007-06-12T14:58:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/oddempire.org\/weblog\/?p=308"},"modified":"2007-06-12T15:44:51","modified_gmt":"2007-06-12T19:44:51","slug":"alphabiotics-sorry-guys-its-a-cult","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/2007\/06\/12\/alphabiotics-sorry-guys-its-a-cult\/","title":{"rendered":"Alphabiotics: Sorry guys, it’s a cult!"},"content":{"rendered":"

By: Aaron Sakulich<\/a><\/h4>\n

I’ve made some bad choices in my life. I once drank a quart of butter on a dare. I wrote an article about scientology wherein I called them a bunch of names, not knowing that scientologists regularly shoot people for such things. Even now, as I’m writing this, I’m eating sesame-covered anchovies in hot sauce, which I bought at the Chinese supermarket in Chinatown.<\/p>\n

And what are the results of these poor decisions? It depends on who you ask. Other than high cholesterol and a blinding, irrational distaste for the state of Oregon, they haven’t had too much effect on my life. On the other hand, if you ask an Alphabioticist, they’ve had the effect of disrupting the True Flow of Life Energy into my Spiritual Consciousness, leading to a serious upset it my Right Intent.<\/p>\n

Alphabiotics is sort of a medicine and a religion. It was started in the 1920s by a certain Virgil B. Chrane and continued by his son, Virgil Chrane Jr. The original Virgil’s grandson, Michael, is in charge of it today, based out of Texas.<\/p>\n

The Alphabiotics Web site is chock full of information; unfortunately, none of it states precisely what Alphabiotics are. They go on and on and on about the benefits, though, from Alphabiotic sessions one can expect to feel and think better, achieve inner peace, foster a tighter connection to their inner source of power, and gain the ability to take advantage of the body’s natural capacity for wellness. Sounds good! I could use all of those things, except the tightening of my inner power source. That sounds unpleasant.<\/p>\n

[[MORE]] <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By: Aaron Sakulich I’ve made some bad choices in my life. I once drank a quart of butter on a dare. I wrote an article about scientology wherein I called them a bunch of names, not knowing that scientologists regularly … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","WB4WB4WP_MODE":"","WB4WP_PAGE_SCRIPTS":"","WB4WP_PAGE_STYLES":"","WB4WP_PAGE_FONTS":"","WB4WP_PAGE_HEADER":"","WB4WP_PAGE_FOOTER":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-308","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/308","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=308"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/308\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=308"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=308"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=308"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}