{"id":2771,"date":"2016-02-02T17:43:20","date_gmt":"2016-02-02T17:43:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/oddempire.org\/weblog\/?p=2771"},"modified":"2019-02-14T21:51:53","modified_gmt":"2019-02-14T21:51:53","slug":"the-bakker-act","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/2016\/02\/02\/the-bakker-act\/","title":{"rendered":"The Bakker Act"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Jim Bakker &#8211; you remember him! From puppet show, to 700 club to PTL Ministries to Heratage USA. Jim and Tammy Fey Bakker raked in the bucks. Then something happened. Scandal, Jessica Haun, divorce and disgrace. \u00a0Even prison. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Jim and Tammy Bakker Through the Years\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/_NNPJn1KeQQ?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But you can\u2019t keep a good profit (or prophet) down. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After all, Jim hears the voice of God when he\u2019s alone or even in the bathtub!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now Jim is back and he\u2019s here to sell you prepper food! <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let that sink in for a moment. Jim Bakker is trying to sell freeze dried prepper food to people who don\u2019t make the rapture.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I mean really! Jim Bakker has always been a ballsy con man. Ready to say and do whatever it take to get his marks to send in the bucks. For Jesus you understand! And his lifestyle and don\u2019t forget the air conditioned dog houses..<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But here&#8217;s something that will be very useful in the dark days when the dogs AC runs out of power. Jim Bakker prepper food! How is this different than any prepper food you can buy at your local Costco?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s the same stuff. It&#8217;s got the same shelf life and it&#8217;s in the same plastic buckets (which can be used for percussion instruments OR for poop.) Some emphasis on the &#8220;or.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Oh but this prepper food is very special! It&#8217;s because JIM \u00a0himself endorses and blesses it, sneezes over it and uses it for living room furniture (I&#8217;m not making that up.)\u00a0 \u00a0You can&#8217;t have enough anointed prepper food around your house! Let&#8217;s see what&#8217;s inside.<\/p>\n<p><b><a href=\"http:\/\/jimbakkershow.com\/lovegifts\/jims-76th-birthday-50-day-sampler-bucket-canada.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Jim&#8217;s 76th Birthday 50 Day Sampler Bucket<\/a><\/b><br \/>\nMenu Item \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Servings<\/p>\n<p>buttermilk Pancakes \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 6<br \/>\nMaple Brown Sugar Oatmeal \u00a0 \u00a010<br \/>\nChocolate Pudding \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 5<br \/>\nWhey Milk \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a020<br \/>\nCreamy Chicken &amp; Rice \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a08<br \/>\nHearty Vegetable Chicken \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 8<br \/>\nCreamy Potato Soup \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a08<br \/>\nCreamy Stroganoff \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 8<br \/>\nFettuccine Alfredo \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a08<br \/>\nItaliano Marinara \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 4<br \/>\nBlack Bean Burger \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 6<br \/>\nChicken Noodle Soup \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a04<br \/>\nCorn Chowder \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 4<br \/>\nMacaroni Elbows \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 15<br \/>\nCheese Powder \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 15<br \/>\nBanana Chips \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 8<br \/>\nInstant White Rice \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 10<br \/>\nInstant Mashed Potatoes \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a07.5<\/p>\n<p>Mmmm Mm! I&#8217;ve seen the Apocalypse and it&#8217;s going to be TASTY!\u00a0<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201c<\/span><\/em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><em>You can have parties!\u201d<\/em> chortles Bakker.<em> \u201cEat like a king! When the world is falling apart!\u201d<\/em> <em>\u201cIt\u2019s going to be more valuable than gold!&#8221;<\/em> For only $2000 you can stock up on eight years of this stuff (which has an eight year shelf-life.) I suppose that\u2019s a good thing if there\u2019s an apocalypse! I&#8217;m not sure what you would do with it after eight years though.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Jim says you should make sure you get a collapsible shovel, to mix the ingredients (I\u2019m not making that up ether) He actually does this with a butload of rice in a large shitcan. (Oh &#8211; perhaps I shouldn&#8217;t use the term &#8220;butload&#8221; in regards to food-prep. My bad! ) \u00a0Better yet, get two shovels, use one for (you know!) and the other to mix your prepper food. Just don\u2019t mix the shovels up! <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIt\u2019s &#8211; so &#8211; good!\u201d exclaimed Jim Bakker.<\/p>\n<p><\/span>Well &#8211; not so much. Chef Greg Lauro analysed the food and his assessment? <em>\u201cThis is basically just garbage,<\/em> \u201che says. <em>\u201d if the end of the world happens you might as well die in a ditch rather than eat this stuff! Also if you have any soy or wheat allergies you&#8217;re just out of luck.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Q2A5csyMfw0\">https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Q2A5csyMfw0<\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Whoah! I had no idea that God favored those who were not Celiac. But holy survival rations that don\u2019t even taste good? Noxious Manna? Jim! How could you? <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I mean really! If your are going to sell prepper food to the damned in your congregation. So that they can live like (comparative) kings while the tribulation takes place all around them. Can\u2019t they at least be GOOD prepper food?<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">On the other hand &#8211; they happen to be sinners. Why not sell them shit\u00a0food. Jim&#8217;s sold them shit-condos and shit salvation.\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be good Funseekers! <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jim Bakker &#8211; you remember him! From puppet show, to 700 club to PTL Ministries to Heratage USA. Jim and Tammy Fey Bakker raked in the bucks. Then something happened. Scandal, Jessica Haun, divorce and disgrace. \u00a0Even prison. But you &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/2016\/02\/02\/the-bakker-act\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","WB4WB4WP_MODE":"","WB4WP_PAGE_SCRIPTS":"","WB4WP_PAGE_STYLES":"","WB4WP_PAGE_FONTS":"","WB4WP_PAGE_HEADER":"","WB4WP_PAGE_FOOTER":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2771","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2771","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2771"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2771\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3607,"href":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2771\/revisions\/3607"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2771"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2771"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oddempire.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2771"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}